Two months ago, we moved in to a new neighborhood, and my daughter has been playing with a neighbor girl regularly.
They have gotten along pretty well, but last week the honeymoon phase ended. My daughter is a sweet and gentle girl: loyal, fair, and easygoing. We were excited for her to make new friends, and to have playmates other than her Type A personality twin brother.
Only, this neighbor girl’s true colors are showing more and more and it’s evident that she has a Type A+++ personality. My daughter came home crying, quietly, as she explained the unfair treatment she received. Later, my son came home, after being intercepted by the neighbor girl, who asked, “Is your sister always so sensitive?”
Apparently, to her, being sensitive is a negative. I understand that being overly sensitive can have its issues, but being sensitive? I want my daughter to preserve her tender heart. I want her gentleness to be honored and valued.
“Associate with people who uplift you, encourage you, and believe in you.”
That’s what I want for my daughter. While she cried in my arms, having had her first experience of a peer’s meanness, I validated who she was as a person, and expressed my desire for her to pick friends who would do the same.
I told her that she was a good friend, and that it would not necessarily be easy to find good friends—but that it is worth it. It’s worth the effort to identify those qualities that add up to a good friend and be willing to sift through those who, though it may be convenient to be around them, don’t fit that description.