Reality Check

The other day, I was having a mini-rant about having to make dinner for the umpteenth time, having to bring the car in for an oil change, having to do my gazillionth load of laundry, and having to do a bunch of paperwork for the new school year for the kids.

Later that day, my five-year old daughter was having a mini-fit about having to clean up her table before starting a new project.

My words to her were, “Why are you fighting reality? This is life. It is what it is. If you are going to fight reality, you are going to be one very frustrated little girl, and waste a lot of energy in the process.”

As has happened many, many, MANY times since giving birth to my boy and girl five years ago, the words I said to my daughter rang loudly. The words weren’t for her, they were for me.

Why was I fighting reality? The things I was ranting about are my responsibility.

Since then, I’ve started to make a list–kind of like you’d have if you were starting a new job and needed to know what your position entailed.

Actually, a few lists: As a wife, a mom, a keeper of the home, a business owner, a daughter, etc.

I list my responsibilities and a plan of action to fill those responsibilities for each role.

Some are easy to define, like providing good healthy and tasty meals and snacks for my family.

Some responsibilities may seem a little intangible, such as to honor, respect, and support my husband.

But then I’ve challenged myself in thinking what would that look like in action? As an example, walking away when talking to me, or rolling my eyes, or interrupting him, or not making a certain um, activity, a high priority, or acting like he’s really putting me out when he makes a simple request, are ways of not honoring, nor respecting, nor supporting him.

I’m not done with my plan of action. But one thing that became really clear…life is hard. Living a purpose-driven life takes focus, planning, and work.

I think I had been fighting that reality. Life is hard, but it sure is worth it.

3 comments for “Reality Check

  1. visioneer
    September 11, 2008 at 4:16 pm


    As we’ve heard before… “welcome to life on planet Earth”!

    By the way, I’ll have to check into Einstein’s theory of relativity.


  2. The Gift We've Been Given
    September 18, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    You are so right! There must be a reason for why we try to fight our reality. Please post your responsibilities list and plan of action. I think this would be most helpful.

  3. Bridgett
    September 18, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    Wow TGWBG, I have to ponder the idea of posting your request. It would really show all of who I am, and probably lead to many more posts of explaining why I think the way I do.
    As an example, I believe that one of my “responsibilites” is to empower my husband. And a plan of action would be a little too much information for most people to handle.
    Shaunti Feldhahn’s book “For Women Only” was a book that started my on the journey that men and women are REALLY different! 🙂

    Thanks for reading, mom of four–I bow down to you! =)

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